I will never stop reminding my husband that twins was his idea. Before I got pregnant he joked (but was actually serious) several times about how awesome and adorable it would be to have twin girls with blonde hair and blue eyes (not hard when we’re both blonde).
I just replied, “you have no idea how much work that would be for me!Besides, twins don’t run in either of our families”.
Then when I had my BIG SURPRISE ultra sound and found out there were two in there, apparently I said in a stunned voice, “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna kill him!”
The tech was a bit worried and confused, until she found out about how he had joked to me regarding having twins. From the beginning I knew they were girls. I just knew. God was laughing and the joke was on me.
When I went home in disbelief and told my husband we were having twins, he said smiling, “one for each of us!”. Months later, though, when we were waking up three times a night to both feed, change and burp our little bundles of joy, it seemed a little less exciting.
Even once they were night weaned but were sick or teething, he would still have to get up with me in the night, because it’s hard to calm down two crying babies by yourself.
I have to say, he’s been quite the trooper. When we go out to the store or visiting, we each have a baby and share the care equally. Having twins forces you to both be on your toes at all times. Just a tad exhausting! But we would’t change it. It is awesome, and they are adorable, just like he predicted.
So how does having twins affect a dad? Here’s a few things that he may be dealing with at the beginning, busy stages of parenting:
He gets to wear the Real Men Have Twins t-shirt
It can be really funny to listen to guys brag to each other about their babies and how smart or talented they are.
“My baby can crawl faster than your baby!”
“Look at little Billy throw that ball! He’s going to the pros for sure!”
“My baby looks up when I say her name, she must be a genius!”
The twin daddy gets to brag double. After all, it’s because of him that there’s two. He’s so manly he can father two at a time. Right. Nothing to do with the women’s eggs..nothing at all. Still, it’s true that it takes a real man to raise twins. Parenting on the double isn’t for cowards. So get him the t-shirt. Just for laughs.
If he’s the bread-winner, the stress and pressure to provide is greater
My husband was really happy when he found out we were having double trouble, but he still half- jokingly said, “Man, I’d better get to work”. The financial adjustment to having a baby can be a big deal to some parents, especially if the mom is wanting to stay home indefinitely. Welcoming two babies means double the cost of some things, and if you weren’t prepared for that, can be a big stress on a guy, even if it’s just a mental stress of being responsible for two little ones.
He doesn’t get much down time
Even if your hubby isn’t the sole breadwinner and doesn’t need to work more hours to support a stay at home wife, there’s not a lot of down time when you have two babies at once. The twin dad is always on call. The first three months after our girls were born, they were colicky in the evenings. So my husband would come home from a long day at work and get handed a screaming infant to soothe while I dealt with the other one. A bit of an adjustment from what our evenings used to look like..with none of the rest and relaxation he was used to.
He doesn’t get much sleep either
There may have been just a bit of jealousy when Chris’ first-time-dad friends with a singleton would say that they just sleep through the baby crying in the night while their wife got up. After all, they had to work in the morning. Sleep? What’s that for a twin dad! When the babies cried in the night, it was daddy on duty. We formula fed, so the excuse of not being able to help with the feedings was not an option. Once they were able to hold their own bottles I could do night feedings myself, but that wasn’t for awhile.
There’s less of mom to go around
Most husbands find it a big adjustment to suddenly have to share their wife with another demanding little person. When twins invade, mom is feeling stretched pretty thin as it is. Even if he’s an understanding guy, life is still different than it was. Uninterrupted, quiet evenings? Rare. Morning snuggles and hot breakfast made? Even more rare. A nice lunch packed with homemade goodies and a sweet little love note? A distant memory. A happy, smiling, well groomed wife greeting him at the door when he gets home from work? Sometimes.
He’s a hero x3
As babies get a bit older and aware of their surroundings, attachments to daddy can get pretty strong. For a twin dad he gets to be the tickle monster to two giggling babies, chase around two screaming toddlers, and have pillow fights with two little attackers. Since he was feeding them from infancy and rocking them at night same as mom, the bond can be very close, and that’s a wonderful thing. It makes all the hard adjustments totally worth it. He gets to be the hero in the eyes of two adoring children, as well as his wife, because being a dad of twins is something to be admired.
If you want to get your hubby or a twin dad you know the Real Men Make Twins t-shirt, you can buy it here (they are more popular than the Real Men Have Twins shirts, though you can find those through the link as well).