I had wanted to post the speech I gave at my brother’s funeral sooner, so that my friends and family who weren’t able to make it could read it, but I wasn’t able to look at it until now. Since today is his birthday, I figured it would be a good time to share it, since his life, with all it’s struggles and victories, was one that made an impact on so many people around him. He is missed every day and it all still feels like a bad dream that I’ll wake up from.
This is what was on my heart in the middle of the night a few days after his accident. It’s not a speech I ever wanted to have to give, but I was proud to give it. I cried the whole time but was able to get through reading it, with my husband Chris and my younger brother by my side for support.
The Hardest Speech of My Life
August 14th, 2017
My relationship with my brother Jared was certainly the most challenging one in my life. Even though I loved him dearly, I didn’t always like him. Growing up we didn’t always get along very well. Our personalities were basically opposite and we clashed often. He was the badass rebel and I was little Miss Perfect. Things like shooting my hamster with his BB gun and chasing my friends and I with snakes didn’t exactly help.
I remember life with him was a constant spiritual battle of him fighting the pull to the dark side while also wanting to be on God’s side. I had to learn early on to forgive him no matter what he did. If mom and dad hadn’t taught me the importance of unconditional love and forgiveness, by demonstrating it to him themselves, I might have become a bitter sister. However, because I always forgave him, even when it was tough, my memories looking back are not clouded with resentment or regret.
Even though he had grown up going to church and had been baptized as a young teen, knowing the gospel message and believing it was true, it wasn’t until several years ago that he finally chose his King. He allowed God to work on his heart and make changes that only God can with a fully surrendered life.
Six years ago, when Jared met his lovely wife, Nicole, God used her to put his life back on track. He gave up substance abuse and began to allow God to transform him into the man he was meant to be. The change in his life was very obvious and I started to really like him and enjoy hanging out with him. I looked forward to family get-togethers with Jared and began to truly respect and appreciate his opinions and wisdom.
After years of loved ones praying for him, he had finally opened his heart to receive the grace and love God had been offering him the entire time. Once Jared makes up his mind about something it’s all or nothing, no holding back, loyal to the end. Jared never did fit the traditional Christian mold and that was OK. He was always willing to be friends with anyone, no matter what kind of background or struggles they had. Jared’s unique personality and own teenage struggles allowed him to identify with and impact many people with God’s love.
Jared made some people uncomfortable mostly because he had no filter and would say whatever was on his mind, whether it was politically correct or not; he didn’t care. Jared always wanted to be real with people, and he wouldn’t tolerate fakers. He set such a good example for fellow christians to stand up to the culture of this world. He was ready and willing to die for what he believed in – that Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal life.
He was very protective and loyal, a traditional guy who respected women and the elderly and who loved puppies and babies. He was a warrior with a passionate and generous heart who would always be there for you when you needed him – and even if you didn’t!
He was very concerned that I marry a good man who would take care of me. It was important to me that Jared would approve of the guy I married and thankfully, Chris passed “the Jared test.”
Even though his deep need for constantly talking was annoying while he was growing up, I really began to enjoy our lively, informative conversations and family discussions in the last few years.
On his 26th birthday, I sent him a text message. I realized as I wrote it that every word was true and how thankful I was that we had come such a long way in our brother/sister relationship. The text reads: “Hope you have a good day and I’m proud of you and the man you’ve become… I’m thankful you’re my brother and if I’m ever in trouble I know who to call.”
I can’t imagine life without him around – cracking jokes, snuggling with my kids and teaching them how to kick-box, or telling me how many calories are in my Oreo Blizzard. I know I’ll see him again though, because he fought the good fight, he finished the race, he kept the faith.
The day of my brother’s funeral was one of the hardest days I’ve ever experienced, but I also remember being so proud of him, and so proud to be his sister. He was a great man. He was God’s man. He was ready to die and stand before his Maker. And that’s what matters in the end. We never know what breath will be our last…are we ready to meet God?
